5 Tips For Managing Expectations

Posted on August 29, 2013 by Tami Hackbarth

The following is an excerpt from Rosie’s post entitled, The Most Confining Expectations Are Our Own…

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Lately, what I have been doing is having conversations with lots of people with whom I work or love about their expectations of themselves. Because, boy, do we expect a lot of ourselves. We expect ourselves to do everything perfectly. The first time. And to do it all efficiently, effortlessly.

And I see myself in those people because I have been there, and it makes me panic for these people whom I so admire and for whom I want the best. Because I don’t want the reason why life is hard and joyless to be them. I know what it is like to take myself and everything I do so damn seriously and to feel that everything is so darn urgent that pleasure and satisfaction disappear. I also know that being held hostage by your standards is no way to live, because you are always waiting– waiting for the other shoe to drop or for breathing room to appear. And the truth is that you have to create the breathing room in your mind and approach because life is always going to be full, it is always going to be brimming, it is always going to ask for more.

Given that our expectations can be the very thing that sabotage us, here are five starter steps to managing- your own and other people’s- expectations.

Click here for the 5 Tips for Managing Expectations.

Do you struggle with managing your own expectations? When does that come up for you? How do you manage them?

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Understanding Self-Acceptance

Posted on August 26, 2013 by Tami Hackbarth

You have to love yourself.

Women hear this adage and they panic.

“But love is so big, so total, so absolute,” we think. ”And sometimes I don’t really like what I did or what I look like. Doesn’t self-love just give me a way to let myself off the hook over and over again?”

Or….

To get the full post click over to Rosie’s post.

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It Comes Down To This

Posted on August 19, 2013 by Tami Hackbarth

What if I told you that you could only hang out with one friend for the rest of your life?

One friend is all you get to see you through everything—the birth cries and the death cries, the celebrations and the losses, the laughter and the tears.

One friend.

Choose carefully.

And, now, what if I change your understanding of both the rules and the reality of this situation.

What if I tell you that this is really true? Not just a game or a fun dinner time “answer this question” type deal. There really will be just one person that walks alongside you throughout your whole life. There is going to be one person there for everything. And she has already been chosen.

She is you.

Do you treat yourself as well as that friend you chose? Do you give yourself as much self-respect and patience and care as that friend gives you, as you give that friend?

Do you matter to you as much as much you matter to that friend?

Because the truth is—and, look, I know this is a hard truth, I know it is an uncomfortable truth but both those things do not make this any less true- that, in the end, you will be all that you’ve got. But way before that, even, you are the only one who is alway with you. You are the most immediate person you’ve got.

And you should have your own back.

You should believe in you, respect you, care for you, treat yourself well.

You should matter to you.

Because, really, what could be worse than spending the rest of your life with a bully, a mean girl, a troll, an insensitive or disrespectful drag?

I really can’t think of anything.

So, I want you to realize that you are all that you’ve got in any given moment, in every given moment. Let the truth of that shift something in you. Let it bring you home. To you.

We don’t have the kind of time left to keep being mean to ourselves.

We don’t have armored souls that make those barbs not matter.

We don’t have the luxury of doing the type of damage in minutes that will take years, decades, a lifetime to undo.

What we have are these beautiful spirits, longing to be free. And they can’t be free- really free- until they know that they will be safe in the world.

Make your soul that promise. Welcome its authenticity into the world. And then relish in it, make up for lost time, and move forward inspired by your newfound loyalty and reverence.

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Orginally posted at www.rosiemolinary.com